Nov 20 - On Cat-Calling
By Shameem Guilliano
About two weeks ago I came across a viral video on Facebook of an actress being filmed walking through the streets of New York being harassed over 100 times by cat-callers. I shared the video to my timeline and the result was interesting. The video showed a mix of cat-calls; some men said things like “damn, girl!” and “hey baby!” and others told her to have a good day. When viewing the video as a woman you understand exactly what’s going on and what she’s experiencing, when viewing as a man the opinions may differ vastly.
Men I personally know involved themselves in the discussion on the Facebook post and generally thought the woman in the video was being rude by not smiling and thanking the men for their comments. I argued that any comments like these towards a woman in the street are unwanted and harassment; the men asked how they would meet women otherwise - uhh, not in the middle of Irish Town saying “Que buena ‘ta!” and not outside Ocean Heights asking for her number. She doesn’t know you and she has places to go, she’s not about to give you her number.
So then imagine she decides to be polite and say “No thank you” to any of those comments, or smile and carry on walking. Cue the possibility of the guy following her down the street or shouting more vulgarities after her after she has shown an ounce of tolerance. If we ignore it, it normally ends or results in one further comment mentioning how “sour” we are for ignoring them. Frankly, it’s better to ignore them and this is what most women I know do (I don’t know any women as of yet who respond to comments in the street, if you do, I’d like to hear from you).
During the discussion on the video post, I was told I had no right to complain because there were more important issues in the world and I was only complaining because I’m ‘pretty’. I felt so insulted and upset that these were men I knew and had supported through their own issues who then threw it back in my face with such careless comments. We seek the support of men with these issues and in Gibraltar in my experience it’s so hard to find men who actually want to hear us out and understand there is indeed a cat-calling issue in Gibraltar. I can’t leave the house without having a man holler at me from a van or a guy brush past my shoulder and whisper awful things to me. All women have experienced this at least once in their lives. It doesn’t make you look big and it doesn’t make us feel good. It’s affecting someone you know right now, I can count on it.
We have a right to be bothered about and voice concerns about these things. If something makes you feel uncomfortable it is already not okay. Maybe we can’t just end cat-calling forever but people in Gibraltar have to start realising these issues are very real and they affect your mothers, your sisters, your cousins and your girlfriends; help them by making them feel supported and as if they can open up about these issues without being judged or argued with. If we feel more supported by the opposite sex, it’s a step in the right direction.
You’ll never hear a story that starts with “He brushed passed me and whispered something about my body in Main Street and now I’m in love!”
Do you think cat-calling is an issue in Gibraltar?
