By Shameem Guilliano

I decided to take the plunge last Tuesday and got braces. Big deal, I thought, kids do this literally ALL the time and they seem pretty content. How bad could it be? I’m 23 and can take this pain, yeahhhh.

Well.

I wanted to fix my bite, my crowded lower incisors and the upper central incisors which are sideways due to a missing canine. I could have had them fitted while it was still a free option but I never thought it was an issue until these past months. Anyway, I was told I needed an extraction. Cool, no problem, most people who get braces need a couple of extractions, usually the molars, right? Wrong. I needed a lower incisor removed thus making me noticeably gap-toothed. I thought it would be worth it for a lovely smile so gave them the go ahead. After the extraction I felt like some kind of hillbilly or that woman from the Corsodyl gum disease adverts (which ironically would become a staple in my bathroom cabinet from that day forth). A photo of my gap-toothed self is on my personal blog which is linked at the end – feel free to giggle.

The day after the extraction I had the lower set of ceramic braces fitted and a quad-helix expander attached to my palate.  If you don’t know what a quad-helix expander is I’ve supplied a photo link right here, so you can choose whether or not you want to see inside my mouth. It’s by far the worst thing about this process. For the first 3-4 days the swelling in my palate wrapped around one of the wires and I was convinced it was digging into my gum. The swelling eventually went down after a shot of anti-inflammatory straight into my left bum cheek just before heading to Puerto Banus for the night (my life sounds mildly interesting after this sentence but I can assure you it’s really, really not).

So it’s now day six as I write this and it feels like weeks have already passed. My jaw joints are achy and I’m using as much brace wax as I can to shield the two, huge, raw mouth ulcers I’ve developed from friction. I have a slight lisp to minimise friction and laughing/smiling is a painful experience. Eating normally was something I took for granted when I could chew and I just want to devour an entire pizza and cheeseburger but am restricted to over cooked pasta and baked beans. Salt water rinse and Corsodyl mouthwash are my best friends and I’ve learned no one actually cares if you’re in pain, ever, and just want you to shut up and stop whining.

Honestly after this experience (keep in mind I haven’t even had my top set of braces fitted) I applaud children everywhere for putting up with this for years – your parents are horrible people.

Since whining is one of the things I do best, I apologise in advance to all those in my life who will have to tolerate the next 16 months of tooth-moving, palate-expanding joy!  I can only promise you my smile will be more appealing to look at by the end of it.

If you’re considering braces as an adult and want some advice or just want to follow my braces journey, check out my progress blog, right here