Editor's Blog Feb 16th 2012
THE SILENT KILLER
Its that time of the year, when the crippling affliction known as “Man Flu” can strike down even the hardiest of males. Its debilitating symptoms can include the following.
1. Regression to childhood.
2. Pain amplified to levels unbearable even to a professional Sado Masochist.
3. Irritation.
4. Photosensitivity.
5. Runny Nose
6. Crying out for chicken soup and Attention.
Be under no illusions, this is a life threatening condition. It can reduce a six foot three inch, 14 stone, the apple of every woman’s eye, demi god into a blubbering mess.
Unable to face the world, sufferers tend to withdraw to their darkened bedrooms, curl into a ball under the covers, with two boxes of man sized Kleenex and wish that they were bitten by White Sharks to take the edge of the pain.
The afflicted, if in a relationship, will require their partner to wait on them hand and foot. They will demand, in-between runs to fetch TV remotes and to make more soup, it is imperative that their partners join them under the covers to provide much needed body heat, the only known natural cure.
The bouts of delirium will subside the more attention is given, but the symptoms will return almost immediately if none of the needs of the patient are met.
Single sufferers of Man Flu almost always die, but the mortality rate has been reduced since the arrival of Facebook and Wi-Fi, where from the comfort of their beds they can solicit sympathy via status updates. If given, their chances of survival are greatly increased.
I am having a bout of this terrible disease at this very moment, and as I write this from under my covers, I see my life flash before my eyes. I am about to prepare some status updates, I feel, I may not live to see another day….
Ed.
