Editor's Blog May 11th 2012
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN
I am a monarchist, damn I even worked for the Lady for 22 years and in that time I have come to understand why we as Britons require a Royal Family. I know what the socialists amongst you are thinking, “who gave anybody the right to set him or herself up as the leader of a country without being voted in”
In years gone by becoming King or Queen was as simple as having some watery trollop throw a magical sword at you or even have a righteous and worthy person pull another magical sword from a stone. (It’s all about the Sword)
There were other ways to become king of course, one could simply claim that that one was of Royal decent and with the fact that many kings had as many bastard children as they had roast Swan Au Gratin avec some Garlic and Mushrooms, one could merely show up at court and say “Hi Dad, its me your son, mum was the mead serving wench you banged over the braised hog”
But in reality, being a Royal just meant that you had delusions of grandeur and both the resources and a large standing army with lots of pointy sticks and a penchant for using them, first on your own people and then on anyone who’s britches got to big.
Once you subdued your population, one would then go about getting everyone to work for the good of the country’s defense, one would need a castle and everything that, that entailed. People would get paid for providing everything that a royal must have from the humble potato to diamonds for ones crown. Then with that crown placed firmly on ones head one could then go about raising taxes and add a few annexes on the old little kingdom.
With the advent of Government and people power the royals have had to take a back seat and lord it up so to speak in the background. Relegated to being a head on money and opening the odd children’s hospital here and there and quaffing Gin and Tonics with other royals.
Nothing could be further from the truth, Royalty at least the British ones are hard working and a big crowd puller, generating millions of pounds a year by attracting those to England who still like me, buy into the whole long live the Queen thing.
With the forthcoming visit by the Earl and Countess of Wessex next month, I will be there waving my Union Jack on a stick. Such is the Spanish Governments frustration with the visit, the Spanish Government has moaned yet again in the form of a formal complaint to the British Ambassador in MAD-rid, that it is upset and concerned about the visit, well boo-hoo.
I am a loyal Subject of Her Majesty, Her heirs and successors and always will be; it says so on my Passport. Show that loyalty, if not to the UK Government, to the Crown. Put your Union Jacks up and wave them proudly.
Now where can I get some Union Jack Underpants?
Ed.
