Editor's Blog Jun 14th 2012
Early Christmas
It is not often when the Directors buy you something that you have needed to do your job for a while. You end up buying your own pens and using your own equipment to get the job done.
Requests for something as inexpensive as Cheap Charlie toilet roll, only 75p for four rolls, are met by a sharp intake of breath, a sad shake of the head and a demand to file in a procurement form in quadruple, which will require the approval and stamp of at least three of the five Directors.
You see, most of the money almost always goes on supporting the lavish lifestyles of the Directors, which seldom is transferred to the poor worker. We strive to produce the goods in these times, where only the boardroom glitterati seem to be having all the fun.
I was therefore shocked when the C.O.O walked in yesterday with a gold coloured box, with black and yellow lettering stating “NIKON D800” on the outside. My initial though was, “its not April the 1st is it?”
The box was put on my desk and I dived under our reporter’s chair, thinking it’s going to be like that film Seven, but its going to have the decapitated head of my pet newt in it, as a punishment for some small work infraction.
I was lured back to my desk by a benevolent smile. The kind of smile you see on a shark. Toothy and sharp, but a smile non-the less. Opening the box with shaking hands, I took a small peek and sat there in bubble wrap was in fact, a brand new NIKON D800 in all its glory.
“For me?” I cried. The C.O.O’s smile transformed, into a deathly rictus and said “yes and no”. Crestfallen I awaited the caveat, “it is company equipment and you will get to use it every day and occasionally you may use it on a weekend or something, but not on a two-week holiday”, he said, the smile never wavering.
Trying to gain the upper hand, and keep as close to this technological marvel for as long as possible I said “I will need to take it home with me, for familiarisation purposes of course.” I then added limply, “it would allow me to hit the ground running tomorrow, making great pictures to make the company some more money.”
This seemed to do the trick, as gold coloured dollar signs appeared on his dark lifeless pupils. “Very well, you may take the camera home with you”, he said. With that he turned on his heel and left.
Finishing work, I ran home got changed, ran out the door again and started snapping away. I must say, first impressions of this camera are great, and after 3 hours with it last night I finally fell asleep cradling and stoking its smooth lines until I fell asleep.
Today I will have to ask if I can take it away for the weekend, so I can write a review about it on Tuesday.
If the C.O.O agrees, he will not know that I will be booking myself into a little motel near Seville and I will be taking my leather thong, a gag ball, 2 litres of peanut butter jelly and some ostrich feathers for a dirty weekend with my new lover.
Ed.
Nikon D800 - Laguna Honeycomb
