It’s been a while but our resident Agony Aunt Stefano returns to provide fun solutions to YOUR problems.

Email your problems (in the strictest confidence) to: [email protected]

THE PROBLEM

Dear Agony Aunt, It's January, it's Monday, I'm poor and I still haven't lost a single gram from the five kilos I've gained during Christmas. I just spent the whole weekend Netflix-and-Chill-ing with my new boo, ordering in food and wine on Hungry Monkey. Please tell me it's okay to not be a gym bunny come January, and help me find the ways to accept me for me.

Love,

Pepperoni Pizza Boy.

THE SOLUTION

Dear Pepperoni Pizza Boy,

I too am feeling 'la cuesta de enero' worse than ever before, and I even think I'm worse off than you are, Mr. Hungry Monkey, wine and Netflix. Right now I'm more bogeys, prison wine and YouTube. On the plus side I bought a cross trainer on the weekend because:

1. I'm a masochist
2. I'm not paying or going to a gym

Hang in there, Pepperoni Playboy! You'll certainly save more money by using Netflix rather than using real life (going outside). Those five extra kilos are what's keeping you warm(er) this winter, you'll be saving on clothes you won't need come the spring. The outside world (during the day) is your gymnasium, use those machines the government installed, for ultimate cringe time. And we're round the corner from payday, which should allow you to have a couple beers on the weekend because te pertenece.

Don't worry Pepperoni Loverboy, you're not alone. You have your shorvito.

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